Father and Sons

Dear Sons,

I can’t help but ponder on how fast you have grown up. Looking back, I realized that I’m starting to miss the days when you were younger and so dependent on us. Soon, I’ll not be able to wrestle with the three of you, you’d be much stronger. But I’m excited to see that as well.

Now, you are starting to have your own mind and in a few years, your mom and I know you will each be on your own. Our only prayer is that you may look back at your own life with fondness and find beautiful memories which will define who you are and guide you where to go.

You are boys and soon will be men. In this dog eat dog world, it is so tempting to conquer rather than share. But I’d like to believe that I have set a good example for you to emulate. If I do, then follow me. But never ever forget that you can become much better than I am.

Nevertheless, allow me to tell you some things which helped me so much in my own journey. I also learned this from my own father and others whom I looked up to.

First, LOVE YOUR GOD because he loves you more than anyone else can. But loving entails work. So, work out your love for God more than anything else in this world and you will discover life to the fullest. Remember, everything works for good to those who love Him.

Secondly, RESPECT WOMEN. Women are never commodities nor objects of our desires as mostly portrayed by some media. When you have found the one whom you will spend your life with, lavish her with affection and care. Remember, what you do to your better-half, you do to yourself. If you like to learn more, just ask your mom and she will tell you.

Third, WORK SMART AND HARD. Yes, there is no substitute to hard work. But you also need to learn how to channel your energies and skills appropriately. Because if not, work becomes tedious and boring. Find your passion and the very nature of your calling, and there you can unleash your creativity and your genius.

Fourth, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO FAIL. Failure is necessary. Pain is inevitable. But find the gem in every mistake that you commit and learn from it. Never ever give up just because you faltered. Many a man becomes a success for not giving up than having all the brains in the world. Remember, you only become a failure if you think you are.

Fifth, BE GENEROUS. There is only one secret to abundance, and that is to give back. Give not only when you have extra but give even in times of famine. The real reward of generosity is not what comes back to you but how much bigger your heart gets and livelier your spirit becomes. That is what my teacher told me and I believe her.

Lastly, KEEP YOUR INTEGRITY. Walk your talk. Live what you preach. In this overly materialistic world, it is so easy to compromise our values in exchange for money and power. But remember again, at the end of the day, when all the glitters are gone, you are what you value. I hope you will be able to find something of real value ‘where no moth or thief can destroy’ and live it out.

I’ll never tire telling you that I am so proud of you and you inspire me to be the best that I can be. May you remember what I tell you and continue the legacy.

Love,
DAD

Kit Balane

Clinical Psychologist
President, Bohol Child Head Start Inc.